Bill Gates finds himself in purgatory, being sized up by St. Peter.

"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this one. I'm not sure where to send you. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows'95. I'm going to do something I've never done before. In your case, I'm going to let you decide whether you want to go to Heaven or Hell."

Bill replied, "Well, what's the difference between the two?"

St. Peter: "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, if it will help your decision."

Bill: "Fine, but where should I go first?"

St. Peter: "I'll leave that up to you."

"Okay then," said Bill, "Let's try Hell first."

So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters and lots of bikini-clad women running around, playing in the water, laughing, and frolicking about. The sun was shining; the temperature was perfect. Bill was very pleased.

"This is great"" he told St. Peter. "If this is hell, I REALLY want to see heaven!"

"Fine," said St. Peter, and off they went.

Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought for a minute, and rendered his decision. "Hmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell," he told St. Peter.

"Fine," retorted St. Peter, "as you desire." So Bill Gates went to Hell.

Two weeks later, St. Peter decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill, shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, being burned and tortured by demons. "How's everything going?" he asked Bill.

Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish and disappointment, "This is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can't believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the beautiful beaches, the scantily-clad women playing in the water?"

"That," replied St. Peter, "was a demo".

If your business day is as intellectually stimulating as watching moss grow, Dilbert's Daily Mental Workout can help. Solve today's puzzle and avoid the cerebral stagnation brought on by mindless meetings, endless e-mail and re-writing reports for the boss. Each of these brain teasers is carefully crafted to promote mental prowess. "...it is a terrible thing to lose one's mind." So remember, it's Your Brain, Work It Out! If stagnation has already set it in and you are ready to be promoted to management, check out the puzzles designed for Your Boss's Brain.

There is a rumor in the Boston area that the Dilbert Screen Saver Collection has one module that acts as a powerful subliminal aphrodisiac. In my tests I found that only a small percentage of viewers experienced this effect, barely more than a control group of fraternity members who drank beer and viewed adult movies.

However, there is some evidence that the Dilbert Screen Saver reverses male pattern baldness, but it's too soon to tell.