A recently convicted felon was sitting in a cell with an old-timer in their cell-block.  The new guy says to the older guy "What do you guys do to keep entertained around here?"

"Oh, we tell jokes" says the old guy. Just then, from one of the cells in the block, comes a shout: "34!"
A few chuckles  are heard. "98!" comes another shout. A giggle comes from the next cell.

The new convict is confused. "I'm confused" says the new convict, "What's going on?" "Well", says the old timer, "we get to know the jokes so well that we number them, you'll catch on"

There's a lull for a while, then someone chokes out another number. "234!" The whole cell block erupts in laughter. "What was that one?", says the young convict. The old-timer stops gagging long enough to say, "Well, that's a new one, son"

An old and wealthy man is dying.  He cannot accept the idea that his money will be left behind, and so decides to take it with him. He calls his three most trusted friends; his clergyman, doctor and lawyer.

"Each of you," he explains, "will be given ten million dollars in cash, to be buried with my body after I die.  By giving only part of wealth to each man, I know you will be able to avoid the temptation to keep my estate for yourselves."  They all agree, and not long after, he passes away.

The funeral is held, and the three men gather afterwards for a toast to the old man's memory.  Inevitably, the question arises:  Did each of them really place the cash in the coffin?

"Well," begins the clergyman, "I cannot lie to you.  The church so badly needed a new roof, that I kept some of the money for that purpose."

The doctor looks sheepish, and then admits "uhh, yes, actually I did hold back a bit.  Just to build a new clinic though!  Is that so bad?"

The lawyer looks shocked.  "I'm truly surprised," he tells them. "Why, I placed every cent of our old friend's money beside his body, and let me tell you, that check was good!"

SquirrelEDIT can place your PICT formatted drawing data onto the clipboard to paste directly into your resource file, as well as generate properly formatted C code, with custom definable array names, to copy / paste into your IDE.

Featuring...

- Horizontally scrolling parallax star field background like it's the 1989 Demoscene!
- Pumping MOD background music
- Digital sound FX (pewpew!)
- Custom sprites
- Fully commented source code and CodeWarrior PRO 4 project folder with libraries, etc.. available

Apple Introduces the Macintosh Plus

The Macintosh Plus (P/N M2503) is the newest Macintosh personal computer. Its features include:

--  One Full Megabyte of Memory.  With one full megabyte of RAM available (expandable to four megabytes when larger capacity chips are available), the Macintosh Plus can accomodate memory intensive application programs. Large models, documents, and data bases are easily handled.

--  800K of Storage Capacity.  Twice the storage capacity of the 400K disk drive, the 800K drive stores more system programs and applications on a dual-sided 3.5 disk and still leaves space for data files. The 800K drive operates at twice the speed of the 400K drive.

--  A High Speed Peripheral Port.  Equipped with a Small Computer Systems Interface (SCSI) port, the Macintosh Plus transfers data up to six times faster through the SCSI port. Up to seven peripherals can be daisy-chained to the Macintosh Plus at one time.

--  A Fast, Efficient Operating System. A new 128K ROM has been added to the Macintosh Plus. It offers a Hierarchical File System that allows the Macintosh Plus to operate faster and function more efficiently, improving overall system performance.

--  Cursor Keys and a Numeric Keypad. The Macintosh Plus features a keyboard with cursor keys and a numeric keypad designed to accelerate data entry.

Connecting the Macintosh Plus to Apple peripherals and third-party peripherals requires certain cables (See "Cables for Macintosh Plus" article).

To ensure that they get the best performance from the Macintosh Plus, users must install the Macintosh Plus system software on all their application disks. A program called the "Installer" on the Macintosh Plus System Tools disk makes installation quick and easy.  This diskette is bundled with every Macintosh Plus and Macintosh Plus Disk Drive Kit. Additional information about the Installer is included in the Macintosh Plus Owner's Guide, as well as in the 800K External Disk Drive Manual. Recommend to customers that they make a working copy of each application on a double-sided disk, and install the new system software on that disk.

Most Macintosh software packages do not have the Macintosh Plus system software. The January 16 dealer (AppleGram) mailing includes software box stickers that remind customers to use the Installer to update their startup disks.  Apple-labeled applications that must have stickers include: MacDraw, MacProject, MacTerminal, Macintosh Pascal, Switcher, and Macintosh 68000 Development System. MacWrite and MacPaint already have the new software and do not need stickers. Future shipments of Apple-labeled software will have the sticker already applied.

AppleCare is available for the Macintosh Plus. ----------------------------------------------------
Cables for the Macintosh Plus

The following cables connect the Macintosh Plus personal computer to Apple peripherals and third party peripherals:

--  Apple System Peripheral-8 Cable (P/N M0187). This cable connects the Macintosh Plus to the ImageWriter II Printer and the Apple Personal Modem. It can be ordered as a finished goods item from your Apple Support Center.

--  Macintosh Plus Peripheral Adapter Cable.  This cable allows users to connect the Macintosh Plus to popular third-party peripherals without discarding their old cables. It can also be used to attach peripherals previously used with the Macintosh 128K or 512K. This cable is included in the Macintosh Plus Logic Board Upgrade Kit and can also be ordered as a service part number (699-0372) from your Apple Support Center.

--  Apple SCSI System Cable (P/N M2556). This cable links the Macintosh Plus to the first SCSI peripheral.  Additional peripherals are linked together with Apple SCSI Peripheral Interface Cables (P/N M2557). If more length is needed between peripherals, the one-meter SCSI Cable Extender (M2558) fills the need. A SCSI Cable Terminator (M2559) is required in every SCSI configurationto help filter the line. With more than one peripheral daisy-chained to the system, SCSI Cable Terminators are used like bookends at the beginning and end of the lieof pripherals. SCSI cables can be ordered from your Apple Support Center.

--  AppleTalk System Connector Kit (M2052). This links the Macintosh Plus to the AppleTalk Personal Network. Customers who are upgrading their Macintosh to the Macintosh Plus can choose between buying the AppleTalk System Connector Kit or using the Macintosh Plus Peripheral Adapter Kit.

----------------------------------------------------
LaserWriter Plus Introduced

Available in February, the LaserWriter Plus has all the features and power of the LaserWriter, in addition to seven new typefaces including ITC Avant Garde(TM), ITC Bookman(TM), Helvetica Narrow, New Century Schoolbook, Palatino, ITC Zapf Dingbats(TM) and ITC Zapf Chancery(TM). The LaserWriter Plus has an additional one megabyte of ROM to enhance the power.

The LaserWriter Plus Kit (M0191) enables users to transform a LaserWriter into a LaserWriter Plus. The kit contains:

--  Sixteen 512K ROM chips containing 11 built-in type families;

--  A Printer Installation Disk with print drives for the LaserWriter, Macintosh 128K with the LaserWriter, ImageWriter, and the AppleTalk ImageWriter option soon to be available. All LaserWriter drivers on the system must be updated with the Printer Installation Disk;

--  A Fonts Disk that includes a copy of the Font/DA Mover and the screen fonts for all printer fonts shipped in the LaserWriter Plus Kit;

--  A revised LaserWriter Manual, describing all the new software features;

--  A LaserWriter Plus label you can affix to the outside of the LaserWriter after the ROMs have been installed.

AppleCare is available for the LaserWriter Plus. ----------------------------------------------------
Macintosh 800K External Disk Drive

The  Macintosh 800K Disk Drive (M0131), for the Macintosh Plus and 512K, features 800K of storage capacity. With the 800K Disk Drive, users can store multiple system programs and applications on a dual-sided 3.5 inch disk while still leaving plenty of room for data files. It operates at twice the speed of the 400K drive, and is fully compatible with the 400K drive.

In order to use the Macintosh 512K with the 800K External Disk Drive, it is necessary to update the system files. Software applications that do not have the Macintosh Plus System Software must be updated using the "Macintosh System Update" enclosed in the January 16 dealer (AppleGram) mailing.

An 800K External Disk Drive manual is included with the product, and AppleCare is available.

----------------------------------------------------

Macintosh Plus Upgrade Available

Three Macintosh Plus Upgrade Kits enable customers to upgrade from a Macintosh 128K or a 512K to a Macintosh Plus.

The kits are as follows:

--  The Macintosh Plus Disk Drive Kit (P/N M2516). Available at the end of February, this kit includes an 800K Disk Drive, 128K ROM, and Macintosh Plus Systems Tools Disk to update existing applications to work on the Macintosh Plus. This kit exchanges the ROM chip and disk drive in the Macintosh 128K or 512K for the new 800K Disk Drive and 128K ROM.

--  The Macintosh Plus Logic Board Kit (P/N 2518). Available at the end of February, this kit includes a digital board with one megabyte of RAM and a new back panel to accomodate the external SCSI port, and a Macintosh Plus Owner's Guide and information sheet. Also included is a Macintosh Plus Peripheral Adapter which allows connection to Macintosh peripherals such as ImageWriter and popular third-party peripherals. A Macintosh Plus Disk Drive is required in order to install the Macintosh Plus Logic Board Kit.

--  The Macintosh Plus Keyboard Kit (P/N M2519).  Available in January, this kit includes a keyboard with standard alpha layout, cursor keys, and a numeric keypad for easy data entry. It requires no dealer installation.

Customers who have purchased Macintoshes or a Macintosh Memory Expansion Kit between November 17, 1985 and January 15, 1986 will receive rebates off the purchase of a Macintosh Plus Disk Drive Kit and Macintosh Plus Logic Board Kit.

If customers purchase AppleCare for the Macintosh, and if they upgrade the system during the term of the agreement, the upgraded Macintosh is also covered under the current agreement until the end of the term. At the end of the term, customers must purchase AppleCare for the new upgraded system.